I spent five weeks in New York City.

A week prior to my trip, I saw a video of people dancing to HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan on the New York subway platform, and I could feel the magic overflowing from the screen. I had grown up and lived in a few countries, but I had never witnessed or experienced anything like that.

One comment in particular struck me:

“Once you live in NYC, you understand that magical moments like this are genuine and everywhere (music festival or not), but these days it’s one of the few places in the world where so many people in one place that are willing to put themselves out there and experience life with complete strangers.
NYC—I will never forget the nights we spent singing in the subway, running in the rain, sharing food with neighbors, dancing in the park, and watching the sunrise on rooftops together.”

So, when I found out that I could actually afford the tickets, I just had to go. I needed to see it for myself. I thought, spending money to live in NYC for 5 weeks would probably provide so much more value right now in my 20s than the value the same experience would bring in my 30s or 40s. After all, nobody has ever said “I wish I spent less on experiences when I was younger”.

A week later, I landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport, and the things that happened in the next five weeks exceeded my wildest imaginations. Looking back, it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

The thing that struck me immediately about NYC was her diversity.

There is diversity in race in NYC. People say that Singapore is a diverse, multi-cultural, and multi-racial society. However, growing up there, I never completely felt that this was entirely true. Each race typically formed its own group and seldom mingled with the others. For instance, inter-racial marriage remains a taboo in Singapore today. There is definitely diversity in Singapore, but societal trends and subtle daily interactions uncover the divide and the clear distinction made between “us” and “them” for some people in that diversity.

In NYC, more than 8 million people speak over 800 different languages. While people formed groups with those from the same country or culture, they were also readily engaged in this bigger community consisting of anyone and everyone. Though my experiences were mostly positive, I did encounter instances of racism and microaggression, and it reminded me of the complexity of integrating diverse cultures. But for the most part, people didn’t really care where you’re from. We simply hung out and existed together.

There is also diversity in self-expression. In NYC, people wore such interesting outfits, hairstyles, and makeup that it made me feel incredibly liberated. In all the places I have been to, there would always be some kind of societal pressure, a certain expectation that people have of others; a kind of public gaze that looks at you head to toe, imposing a kind of internal judgement if you deviated from their expectations [1]. In NYC, I felt like I could be anything, do anything, wear anything, and nobody would bat an eye.

There is also diversity in background/choice. You can never guess anybody’s trajectory in life, where someone came from, what they studied and what they are doing right now. I met an ex-US Army officer who studied law and is currently founder of a tech start up, a college drop-out making Roblox games for a living, a lawyer who travelled the world looking to start their own hotel furniture brand, an aspiring actor who moved across the country looking for a breakthrough role, a college student who solo backpacked through half of China, a stand-up comedian who was doing a PhD in particle physics… NYC reminded me of the countless possibilities and potential I have as a human being, that I am as free as my mind allows me to be.

NYC is a place where everyone belongs precisely because no one truly belongs. We all came from somewhere at some point in time. I grew up as a third culture kid never really knowing where I belonged, but strangely, I felt a lingering sense of belonging in NYC. And so did many of the other third culture/multi-racial people I met in NYC. I can feel comfortable because everyone else is equally weird and lost. To blend into NYC, you simply shove your hands in your pockets and walk really, really fast.

Being in NYC reminded me of this theory that I had, that people broadly fall into two categories: people who stay and people who leave. People who stay find comfort and fulfillment remaining in one familiar place their entire lives. People who leave feel a profound longing for the unknown, always seeking a Great Perhaps [2], even if born in a place of comfort. One group is not inherently better than the other; they are just different. In a sense, NYC is the city of people who leave.

Another striking aspect of NYC was how openly helpful people were. Most people were immediately curious about each other: where they came from, what they were doing in the city, and what their aspirations were. When they heard my story and the things I was pursuing, most wanted to hear more and offered critical and honest opinions, while being incredibly encouraging. They’d tell me to check this startup out, look up this book, article or video. Some told me about these other people who were working on the same thing, and that they’d be willing to connect us. I got invited to offices and houses to co-work, to chat, and to have coffee or lunch together. I got invited to parties and experiences, and got introduced to like-minded people. It’s not that those things never happen in Asia; they were just much rarer, and never with complete strangers you had just met.

In the cultures I grew up in, I rarely see even friends doing this. Each person’s thoughts, knowledge, and connections were their own resources, and they wouldn’t really share them with anyone else. I don’t think I have ever heard people say “I know somebody working on the same thing, you guys should get in touch”, or “there is this thing I know, I’ll send it to you” as much as I did in NYC. In my experience, interactions in Singapore and China were often guarded and reserved. People were rarely this open to share, and there would be a subtle, reserved judgement in the background when you say or do things that do not conform to their expectations. It is not cool to try, and it is not cool to be very different. While in NYC, complete strangers I met were so keen on sharing their opinion, knowledge and connections with me that I felt incredibly warm and excited to share what I have with them as well.

Combine that eager, supportive spirit and the diverse perspectives people have from their experiences and cultures, you get a true melting pot of cultures where ideas flourish and innovation thrives.

I came to the US with a question: what is it about this country, that despite only hearing incomprehensible, awful things about it from the media (gun violence, abortion rights, wealth disparity, class divide, political polarization…), it seems to lead the world in so many things:

• Education: The best students around the world attend, or aspire to attend elite universities in the US. Nearly every single professor who taught me in Peking University would mention the top schools in the US and make some comparison at some point of the course.
• Science: The US is leading the world in research across nearly every discipline.
• Finance: The US remains the wealthiest country in the world. Wall Street is the heart of the global economy.
• Culture: American pop culture is dominant among my peers in Singapore (and China to some degree). My favorite bands/artists, movies, TV shows and literature are from the US.
• Innovation: Many of the ideas and products that have changed the world are from the US, specifically San Francisco and NYC.

I feel like I have some of the answer now [3].

It is the chaotic, vibrant diversity—a true melting pot of all—and the enthusiastic willingness to openly share opinions, knowledge and connections that breed innovation and excellence.

“You (America) are attracting all the adventurous minds from all over the world, and embracing them, and they become part of your team! I don’t see 2 million Indians and half a million other peoples—Japanese, Koreans and others—becoming part of China.”
—Lee Kuan Yew, founding father of modern Singapore (2009 interview with Charlie Rose)

It is undeniable that NYC has big problems. Housing, cost of living, violence, infrastructure pressures, social inequality, and class divide are among the city’s many complicated, deep-rooted issues. I disliked how the streets often reeked of urine and marijuana, how you would hear a blasting siren every five minutes, not to mention the lack of personal safety in public spaces. NYC sometimes felt simultaneously like a dream and a nightmare [4].

But it does not take away her magic.

I never did manage to dance with anyone on the subway, but I realized I didn’t have to. You hear people say that New York City is the best city in the world, but you would almost never hear people say that about Singapore, Beijing, or any other city in the world. Despite all her flaws and contradictions, NYC stands as a testament to the infinite possibilities of human life. I’m excited to be back someday, to experience New York City and her unmatched diversity and openness which fosters this culture of extraordinary creativity and freedom to be whatever you want to be once more, and to meet with the wonderful people I crossed paths with again.

DISCLAIMER: I am aware of the generalizations made in this essay. These are only my thoughts from my experiences. I wanted to write about the NYC I experienced in that specific period in time. You are welcome to agree/disagree with anything I’ve written.

Notes

[1] I felt this sort of public gaze the most in Singapore, South Korea and Japan.

[2] John Green, Looking for Alaska.

[3] I KNOW. The US is huge and NYC is only a part of it. My experience of NYC is not a comprehensive experience of the US.

[4] Many people have said this about NYC to me.